So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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