My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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