I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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