mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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