Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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