Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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