I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
