the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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