You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize
