Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize