I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
