How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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