So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
When are your genitals available?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
