Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
