Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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