i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
