he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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