Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
This house was built for laser tag.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
