Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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