She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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