Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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