Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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