my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
