Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You made out with two different species that night
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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