she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
