Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
