When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
