i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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