on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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