I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize