well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
