I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Too much gin, very little bucket
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I party with great urgency now.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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