Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.