im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
