You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
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Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
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You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop