Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.