just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
