I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
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We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?