Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird