Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers

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(269): View more from Michigan

I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.

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(310): View more from California

she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.

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(740): View more from Ohio

he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(505): View more from New Mexico

Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch

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(310): View more from California

You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.

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