I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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