I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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