started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
