when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My liver just had a heart attack.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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