Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
