I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
