babies were throwing up all over the place
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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