Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
