Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
