Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
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