I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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