i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
