And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
