just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
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He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
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Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.