how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever