i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
