If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
