Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
