The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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