he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
