yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I don't think brook has ever known best
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
