Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
