I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
