You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Don't make out with my wife yet
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
