So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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